This week our family is in Virginia with our church youth group doing some mission work with an inner-city church camp. Hubby, the boys, and I have the luxury of staying at a local hotel while the teens stay at the church. It's one of the perks of having small children!
Yesterday, we left the hotel early in the morning to run ministry errands and such. Buddy was having issues with his new/used shoes that we just got him (at a children's consignment shop that my friend just opened). I didn't bring any different shoes for that particular day's outing, so I let him go barefoot and just carried him when we were walking. We arrived at the church later that afternoon, and as I was holding Buddy over the toilet (he is potty learning), his shorts dropped into the toilet water. We were too far from the hotel and too close to the evening church service to make a quick run for shorts and shoes, so I just had to let him go pant-less and shoe-less. He was so cute running up and down the halls of that inner city church in his pull-up and dirty feet. And you know what? He couldn't have been happier. I had packed tons of cool little outfits and coordinating shoes for our trip, but it didn't make any difference to him. The little boy that had been whining and complaining about wearing clothes instead of PJ's and shoes instead of bare feet, was now perfectly content. Later, he found a little ride-on toy in their church nursery, and proceeded to ride it all over the church. It had no pedals or lights, it didn't play music, count or recite the alphabet, it was just a simple ride-on toy. And he loved it!
That whole scenario really spoke to me about how wonderfully simple children are. In a society that is so focused on materialism, it is very easy for a parent to get caught up in having the latest and greatest for your kids. (But is it really for the kids or another way for adults to keep up with the status quo?)
I fell into the trap big time when I was pregnant with Buddy. I registered for everything the Babies R Us catalog told me I needed. We had more gear, clothing and toys than any child could ever need or want. When I was pregnant with Little Man, I sold tons of stuff because we knew we wouldn't need it. I never used a stroller except for jogging because I prefer holding or wearing my babies. My playpen was only an extra changing table. Because we co-sleep, my bassinet and crib are used for clothing and diaper storage. We lost the infant play-mat and haven't missed it one bit. A lot of the baby clothes I sold to the consignment shop had only been worn once or twice, and some still had the tags. It's amazing how little you actually need to raise a baby. But we too easily fall prey to the designer Pottery Barn nurseries, trendy clothes, matching gear and hi-tech gadgets. (They actually have an iPhone app that translates your babies cries so you can know if your baby is hungry, tired or has a dirty diaper. What is our society coming to?!?)
And as Buddy grew from baby to toddler, our house filled with every toy a kid could ever want. My husband jokes that we have 4 playrooms because of the amount of toys all over the house. (Excuse me, while I go on a mini-rant here...I am sick and tired of the media, namely Disney and Nickelodeon., trying to infiltrate every area of a child's life. Toys, shoes, clothing, pajama's, bathing suits, sippy cups, tooth brushes, back packs...you name it, there's a character on it!) The Waldorf philosophy of education talks about how many of today's toys leave little room for the child's imagination. "Creative Play for Your Toddler" is a great book on how to make natural toys for your child that can be used in more imaginative play. I am currently in the process of going through all of our toys and getting rid of what's is not played with (which is 75%) and replacing others with more natural options such as wooden blocks and rings in place of plastic ones.
The more I observe Buddy's moods and behavior, I notice that he seems happiest when he is at home in comfy clothes, left to freely play and help me around the house. It is so ironic that parents (me included) think we need to fill every minute of their day with some sort of outing or activity. We make them sit still and quiet at story time, not make a mess during craft projects (that the adult ends of doing most of the work on because it's supposed to look a certain way), and not whine in the stroller on our outing to the amusement park where they are too scared to ride most of the rides anyway.
Once again, is it really all for them or is it for us? I have to ask myself that as I watch Buddy ride around the church in his dirty bare feet and pull-up, laughing and having a great time on that little "boring" toy.
Always,
Amanda
